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Evil Genius Parent Award #4

Evil Genius Inc survived the school holidays. And no-one was maimed, injured, or killed. Yes, the spawnlings DID make someone else vomit but as Evil Genius Grandma says, “that just made it better”. Of course, school holidays provide a plethora of opportunities to express your Evil Genius. But no matter […]

Costumes to take Candy from a Granny

October is pretty much known as “dress-up-and-eat-lots-of-sugar” month. Sure, it’s supposed to be on one day – 31st October. But the other 30 days are for building up your tolerance. And strategising new ways of stealing from the kids. Of course, October then becomes “pin-this-picture-of-my-kids-cool-costume” month, and even “look-at-my-cool-costume-that-I-have-worked-on-for-the-last-six-months” month. […]

Evil Genius Tool #2 – Spinning Teacup

I swear – they were looking at me, like my kids were those kids. The kids at the park, trashing the place with over-the-top sugar-laced-with-red-colouring behaviour. Seriously – if you think my kids are those kids, then you have no idea what those kids are like. I so want to watch you in […]

Evil Genius Parent Award #3

Big welcome to the minions who joined us last week for Evil Genius Parent Award #2. Good work coming back for more inspiration in evil parenting – and you will not be disappointed. This week’s recipient was nominated by another minion. Honorary Mention goes to Megan S for introducing me […]

One Freak at a Time

Basic evil skill – convincing someone the pool water is warm. Most days I can tell when Sinister is lying to me. And I’ll give him this: He really did think that the water was warm. Thus me calling him a freak. <*insert raucous childish laughter*> “Thanks… now, what’s a […]

I want a Femtosecond Camera

I want a Femtosecond Camera. Remember the periscopes you used to make as a child? Long, cardboard box (or pvc, if your dad was a plumber), couple of mum’s compact mirrors (or dad’s, if he was a musician), and suddenly you have the ability to peer around corners on unsuspecting […]

Evil Genius Parent Award #2

In our second week of the Evil Genius Parent Awards, I am proud to see so many minions striving to emanate true evil genius parenting. With a range of examples – from restaurant playgrounds,  to convincing your child to wear pants, the winner is truly inspirational. The idea is simple, […]

Training a Hacker…

Every time a school tries blocking Facebook, a fairy loses its wings. And then falls to the Earth as a troll. Or a hacker. It’s pretty much a 50-50. Either way, my recruitment efforts just halved. With these policies in place, there are now two types of students: Those who […]

Inaugural Evil Genius Parent Award

It is important… Nay, essential… for parents to be one step ahead of their children. That is even more apparent in the work of an Evil Genius. To encourage you all to reach your Evil Genius Potential, I have decided to acknowledge the great efforts of my servants with the EVIL […]

Nefarious is not just learning…

I love those moments when I am watching Nefarious in action, and those 30 seconds or so before the unsuspecting victim realises they have been duped… by a 3 year old. Brilliant. So proud. So, we’re at Nefarious’ sporty activities (Sport is a great way to take over the world […]