Ugh.

I have just had the week from Tartarus. And all because of being a volunteer parent for multiple spawnlings’ extra-curricular activities.

Parent volunteers. There are some absolutely fantastic parent volunteers out there. And then there is that one who does such a crappy job, no one ever wants the role ever again.

Now, for any of you minions out there – VOLUNTEER!!

Seriously, you really do end up with the same suckers parents at every damn event. And when you are dragging your sorry butt to every damn event, you need something to break up the monotony.

Somehow or another, I ended up swapping with EG Dad and doing his volunteer shift on the sprints track at our Nippers Carnival last weekend. That’s okay – he was stuck with the spawnlings. 😀

For those who like their Sunday sleep-ins: I hate you.

Nippers are junior surf lifesavers. Their weekends are split between training sessions (learning about water safety and life-saving techniques) and carnivals (competitions with events that incorporate some of these skills).

When you volunteer as a judge or official (or whatever the hell I was)  for an event like the sprints, it normally means standing out in the sun for an hour counting the ‘placings’ in each event and then standing in the lane of whichever placing you are responsible. I was responsible for 6th. They clearly knew my experience with running.

Now, carnivals can be a little competitive at times. However, there is nothing more embarrassing than watching some parent on the side calling out some sweet little supportive comment prior to the start… And suddenly turn into a teeth-gnashing banshee screaming “FASTER!! FASTER!! LIFT YOUR GODDAMN LEGS!!” as soon as the starting gun is fired.

Of course, it is then this same parent who walks over to pick a fight because their little ‘miracle’ couldn’t possibly have placed 6th. They were clearly 3rd.

Not even close.

This week’s EG Parent Award goes to my fellow volunteer who was responsible for 2nd placing.

Who, at the end of the race, casually asked me which one I thought placed 6th. And then casually stood in that lane while nudging me over to the one he thought placed 2nd.

And then grinned when the same woman lost her head over where we were standing.

Of course, he apologised profusely to her for making such a simple little error. Of course, he had seen her ‘miracle’ place 2nd and he must have just been distracted by the sun for a minute.

Troll Level: Master. +50

When some of the other scheduled volunteers didn’t show up, this guy made the additional hour of hell a lot more bearable. We repeated this stunt every time we saw parents acting like idiots on the sidelines.

Sad to say, it was more often than even I liked.

Absolute kudos to the spawnlings – none of them minded. A couple even picked up on the joke and had a snicker at their parents expense. Every single one of them was a pure sportsman on the day and I was truly impressed.

And to the EG Parent – thank you. Thank you for volunteering, when so many don’t. And thanks for making it fun for us other parents.

I’m even considering volunteering again for the next carnival.