‘Straya Day tomorrow. You have the day off. It’s Summer. And at least some of the country will have nice weather (it’s a big country; anything is possible).
Nice time to stop and think about what makes you an Aussie.
Of course, Deadpool is already in on the action. That social-media slut.
He’s just jealous because Wolverine didn’t invite him to the last ‘Straya Day party.
Have you been to a ‘Straya Day Party? No two parties are ever the same.
It could be a party with a dinghy in the pool, filled with ice and beer, while your mates wrestle the inflatable croc ‘Steve Irwin-style’ for bonus points. Loser takes a swig from the Goon of Fortune.
It could be tea and lamingtons for morning tea, after supporting your new Aussie friends at the citizenship ceremony.
It could be a chilled arvo in the backyard with cricket, listening to Triple J’s Hottest 100 countdown.
It could even be a few quiet drinks on the veranda, munching away on Fairy Bread and Pavlova while waiting for the humidity to break into a proper storm.
Okay, maybe not the Pav – Australia and New Zealand still haven’t resolved ownership on that one. But the Fairy Bread – totally Aussie.
In fact, I recently educated some US minions on the beauty of Fairy Bread.
Fresh white bread – no wholemeal. That’s just disgusting.
A smooth even spread of butter. Some people accept margarine. Heathens
A generous sprinkle of 100s and 1000s. Coloured tiny balls of sugar – some people call them sprinkles but don’t you dare settle for anything other than 100s and 1000s. It doesn’t look right. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t taste right.
And if I find out you messed with any of the above, I will send out the Drop Bears and banish you to the Bog of Eternal Stench.
Now, being Monday, I really should be sharing an Evil Genius Parent Award. But being ‘Straya Day and all, I’m thinking of sharing an Evil Genius Australian Award. Just this once. Because I can.
This special one-off award goes to James Ross-Munro and Kane Wiblen. They disrupted an attempted robbery by stealing the keys to the getaway car before chasing the suspects from the scene.
All in stubbies (shorts) and thongs (AKA flip flops, not those … other… things…). And quite drunk.