EG Grandma has just left the building.
It was a flying visit (hold off on the broomstick jokes, people) – EG Grandma extended a stopover in town from a couple of hours to almost 24 hours. Just enough time to visit the spawnlings, spoil them rotten, give them tips on how to irritate their parents, and then fly out again before any consequences kicked in.
In our family, grandparents do all the things they were never allowed to do as parents, and even more so if their parents were evil grandparents too.
For example, how much chocolate were you allowed to eat as a kid? At home, not much. Treat every now and then. Until we visited the great-grandparents (yep, we live long and prosper on my side).
My great-grandma would put on this massive spread – we’re talking full on Mediterranean Banquet table. Don’t eat dinner the night before. Wear elastic-waist pants. And that’s just for morning tea.
That’s not really evil. It’s just normal feeding time in the family. The evil is afterwards. Just before you’re ready to leave. That’s when the great-grandfather would approach the kids and quietly slip a mars bar in to one pocket, maybe a kit kat into another.
On really special occasions (like inter-state travel), you might even find yourself munching on a few pieces of red licorice in the car on the way home. And this is after all the fizzy drink, pastries and other goodies during morning tea.
And no matter how much the parents say no, they do not need that much sugar – the grandparents (and great-grandparents) don’t care. Of course, they claim they just want to spoil the grandkids but it’s really their opportunity to get even for all the times you readily accepted sugar from your grandparents.
Only this time – it wasn’t just sugar. EG Grandma did buy chocolate Easter Eggs for the spawnlings now (to save postage later this month), but she also bought some
- LEGO Chima – I reckon this is because EG Dad said “There is never enough LEGO!!” – eat your words, EG Dad.
She also did multiple readings with Nefarious in the morning. Not just one book – but at least two!! I even suspect three!! Does she not understand the precedent she is setting here?!? She’s only been gone a day, and already Nefarious now thinks I should be reading a minimum of two books every morning. Cook books and science experiments don’t count, apparently.
EG Grandma is evil – in less than 24 hours, she has now set unreal expectations that the rest of the lair thinks is normal! Folding the clothes?!? Washing the dishes?!? Playing with children in the park?!? When am I going to take over the world if she keeps introducing these new time-sucking activities to EG Dad’s wishlist. And this is my own mother!!
I miss her. I wonder when she’ll visit next.