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Evil Genius Parent Award #30 – Eurovision

Here’s a little background on Evil Genius Mum: I come from a long line of musicians. Talented musicians. Very talented. 

My only saving grace: the ‘music genes’ are usually accompanied by the ‘maths genes’.

Nope I’m screwed on that front too.

But, it appears that Sinister and Nefarious have inherited the passion and talent for music. It’s really quite embarrassing. Yet at the same time – very cool.

Nevertheless,  there are a whole heap of pitfalls that come with trying to enter the music industry:

  • Long hours of practice required;
  • Trouble finding suitable housemates who can tolerate you waking up at 6am to practice (EG Opa, I’m looking at you);
  • Majority of decent paying gigs are during prime social hours on Thursday/Friday/Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons;
  • Risk of one day resorting to participation in reality shows like America’s Idling Talentless Voice.

However, this week’s Evil Genius Parent Award will go to executive producer of Eurovision 2013: Martin Österdahl.


Now, to be fair, I don’t know if Martin is a parent or not, and I can almost bet that his entry this week is completely unintentional. But it is the most brilliant and genius method ever to completely turn your children off working in the music industry.

Just show them one year of Eurovision. 

If you have been following the tweet threads #eurovision or #sbseurovision, you will learn the main benefit of watching Eurovision is for the drinking games. For lyrics. For costumes. For sharing with friends.

And the laughs. 

Quite seriously, the laughs. Because no-one takes Eurovision seriously.

Remind your kids of that. No-one takes Eurovision seriously. And one day you might end up on there. With shower caps,

And if that doesn’t turn them to biochemistry or astrophysics, then I have no hope for you or your spawn.

Learn how to make viking helmets or shower caps.

Eurovision Thor 2013

Side note: If, however, you or your spawnlings score a job as the commentator for Eurovision AND are able to bring back the absolute hilarity of Terry Wogan, then you may be able to maintain enough dignity to show your face in public. 

Categories: Evil Genius Parent Award

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Evil Genius Mum

Evil Genius Mum
- Taking over the world, one blog post at a time

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