I swear, this new spawnling hates me.
This is the roughest pregnancy I have had yet. Most of my favourite foods are off limits or suddenly taste disgusting; my sleep pattern is disturbed AFTER Nefarious finally learns to sleep through the night continuously; and the mood swings are bringing on waterworks at all the wrong times – like trying to enforce silence during Mythbusters, and then I burst into blubbering tears. WHAT IS WITH THAT?!?
So, why am I not surprised that this Mother’s Day would be any easier? In fact, my emotional vulnerability has been completely taken advantage of by EG Dad and the spawnlings. I allowed them the Easiest Mother’s Day EVER!
I strongly suspect this new spawnling is weakening my defences from the inside!! It is THIS CHILD you should all fear – we even received confirmation of the pregnancy on Dec 21. Same day as my failed World Domination experiment. Figures… It was just the warning of things to come. It would appear I am creating a Triumvirate of Spawnlings.
How did I make it easy on EG Dad and Inc? I spent my Mother’s Day attending a martial arts grading for Sinister, and then sitting in on his trumpet lesson. I then chose an easy cafe on the way home to eat lunch, followed by watching some ice-skating (spawnlings choice) while munching on churros and chocolate. My highlight was sitting on the couch and watching Doctor Who with the family that night, gleefully cheering on the Cybermen in Neil Gaiman’s latest writing for the series.
And I loved every minute of it.
No diamond earings (they get in the way of headphones during missile launch); No long, hot, baths (can’t while preggers); No sleep-in with breakfast in bed (grading, remember?). In fact, my gift was organised by me (pregnancy yoga, and pregnancy day-spa voucher from studio audience experience) – and I even received a Mother’s Day gift for EG DAD (iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner from same studio audience experience).
WHAT IS WITH THAT?!?
However, I did get a kick out of the many Mother’s Day greetings on the web. And this one really gives me hope. I Fucking Love Science has an awesome Facebook page, where she shares a range of amazing and fantastic science-y facts. This one for Mother’s Day hit the spot:
Why? Because it did. Just take it.
Fine, because as much as this unborn spawnling hates me, there is hope I can outsmart it yet. Whatever genius processor it has growing inside, part of it is growing inside my head too. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So, Evil Genius MUM can still rule the world!!
And before you say it – yes, I know that EG Grandma then has the potential to overthrow me as well. But since she has chosen to relocate herself to the middle of nowhere in North Queensland (Australia, for those elsewhere) with limited resources, then hey – I still have a fighting chance.
So Happy Mother’s Day (belatedly) to all the potential EG Parents out there. I want to read plenty of stories on how evil you were on your special day.
And thanks to IFLS sharing, we now all know that, as mothers, we contain the secret weapon to outsmart our kids.
Categories: Evil Genius Parent Award
Evil Genius Mum
Evil Genius Mum
- Taking over the world, one blog post at a time
This is the link to the original research article too, if you are curious as to exactly HOW I am going to outsmart this evil spawnling…