How to Optimise (Non-) Scripture Class

The Romans have a lot to answer for.

They perfected the art of assimilation. It is no coincidence that the Borg in Star Trek have the same name as a Maltese family I am related to. Either way, resistance is futile.

Have a look at their religion. Basically, take a local festival, add a bit of Latin prayer and rename it something ‘Roman’. The dumb-arse heathens won’t know the difference! If they do, we’ll just crucify them.

Race ahead to modern day, and the issue of religion still has the same approach. They will still try to assimilate anyone, in any manner possible. Of course, this wouldn’t be a problem if our public schools actually practiced the supposed Separation of Church and State. They do? Really? So why is the New South Wales Government trying to make it easier for schools to just put students straight in to Scripture classes?

Now don’t get me wrong – if you want to send your kid to Scripture class, great. Happy for you. You do know that most faiths have lessons for that on the weekend when such devout followers like yourselves are usually attending prayer or mass or whatever, right? I mean, it’s a great system. Take Catholicism for example: you can attend mass, and little Johnny can attend Mass.PG at the same time. And it doesn’t fuck around with valuable educational time for the rest of the public school.

In our local public school, someone is trying to convince families that Scripture is really the best option. How? Make Non-Scripture class as boring, plain, and insulting as possible. Our school does not offer the Ethics classes that have been talked about a lot throughout Australia. Instead, they take the Non-Scripture kids to a ‘common-room’, where they can still hear the games and singing from other Scripture classes. They then sit the Non-Scripture class kids down and have them watch Hanna Barbera cartoons, or better yet – colouring in. The supervising teacher is not allowed to interact with the kids unless it is for basic essentials.

There’s some strategic brilliance right there. And it works. I know of at least 3 kids in Sinister’s grade alone who have changed to a Scripture class because the parents don’t want their kids’ brains to rot for the same 20mins every week.

Well played. Not sure if it is the teachers or the church or the school administration. Nevertheless, well played.

SO! In full respect of said strategic brilliance, EG Dad and I use Sinister’s (Non-)Scripture class to educate him on world mythologies/religions in preparation for his world domination. Learn the faiths and rigmaroles of the locals, re-work them, and voila! Evil Genius becomes world leader.

Each week I prepare 5 pages in a scrap book on the current faith of his choosing (last term Norse; this term Egyptology). I write a third of a page of information, and Sinister draws a picture of his understanding. Norse was great – he learnt all about honour, loyalty, respect, and other noble virtues. Now he knows exactly how to manipulate these characteristics in minions. Owly Images

But hey – let’s go a step further. Now the New South Wales Government is removing any obligation for a school to even tell parents that they can opt-out of Scripture classes. Only when a parent tells the school that they choose not to sign-up for Scripture, then the school will advise if there is an Ethics class or if there are enough colouring pencils.

Sweet – the less informed parents and students in society, the less resistance EG Inc. will have in its strive towards World Domination.

Choose whichever class you want. If you are that committed to your faith, then show your commitment and do it in your own time.

But know this – last week, Sinister taught 4 other kids in his class (2 Anglican, 1 Jewish, 1 Catholic) how to write their name in Hieroglyphs. This week, he has promised to help them design their own temples – to themselves, of course.

Seems Sinister has inherited some Roman strategic brilliance as well.

2 thoughts on “How to Optimise (Non-) Scripture Class

  1. Pingback: Quick peek at Ancient Greek | Evil Genius Mum

  2. Pingback: Tour de Blogs – from WAY behind the pack | Evil Genius Mum

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