Training a Hacker…

Every time a school tries blocking Facebook, a fairy loses its wings. And then falls to the Earth as a troll. Or a hacker. It’s pretty much a 50-50. Either way, my recruitment efforts just halved. With these policies in place, there are now two types of students: Those who only navigate with their teachers consent; and those who learn more. I like to call them mere minions and interns.

Why do I love this so much? Think about who is setting up the security – school administration. How many IT specialists are going to work in schools, managing the filters? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sure, the admin staff has a fighting chance during the early years of primary, but wait for the hormones to kick in. I can not imagine our public schools being able to afford an IT specialist who can get between a pubescent boy and the temptation of FREE PORN!!

We already have this discussion in our lair – social media, not porn. Not yet. Anyway, Sinister and Nefarious regularly ask me what I am doing; I answer “The same thing I am doing every night, sweetheart. Taking over the World – and updating my Facebook status.” At 6 years of age, Sinister already understands how I share things on Facebook and steal information from others. 3yo Nefarious even dares to ask for a 2nd opinion from Google if my answer seems questionable.

The beauty of this ‘policy’ is that it will feed the exact same beast that the school admins are trying to capture. Tell the kids “You are not allowed to access Facebook/Google/YouTube” and sure, you’ll have some kids saying okay. But then you’ll have a couple of kids, even in Grade 1 or 2, who say “Really? But I do it at home…” Then there are the kids with older siblings who have already hacked the firewalls at home, and have no problem sharing some tips with younger kids.

Next thing you know, Grade 1 Science is now learning the difference between spider pedipalps and human fingers (true story – Google it).

Despite these ‘educational purposes’, some teachers are complaining about Facebook being too distracting for kids during class time. Fair point. I really don’t want teachers being responsible for my kids “digital citizenship”. Teachers have an obligation to teach ethics (or circumvention of same) and stuff. Certain restrictions that will limit their creativity to extend beyond the limits of the internet. That’s the only way the Internet will continue to grow – through the imagination of kids. Particularly the imagination of kids tempted to break through the paper-thin walls schools try to set up.

The down side to this is that you increase the number of numpties being “introduced” to the internet in Grade 11 or 12 – by which time, they are noobs to be fed to the trolls, or trolls to be fed to the administrators. *sigh* As frustrating as this will be, at least it will give my kids someone to practice on before I hand over the reins.

So thank-you, schools. You are making it easier to distinguish the interns from the mere minions. Those who are inspired to Take Over the World; and those who will bring me my next cup of tea.

Minion Musings:

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