Indoor Play Centre Hell

I have been bribed into Indoor Play Centre Hell.

Nefarious was invited to a classmate’s birthday party at an indoor play centre: multi-level playground with soft-fall mats, trampolines, rock climbing walls… A kid’s dream!

And a parent’s nightmare!! So noisy! So crowded!!

I am down with the Mother of All Headcolds. Instead of staying here, I had planned to disappear and go shopping for a present for another party tomorrow, but the hosts showed Zaltu the play area for her age, and bribed me with free wifi and an open tab at the cafe. That’s right minions: FREE COFFEE!!

Clearly, I am very very cheap.

Seriously though, this is a great party they have put on for a bunch of 3rd-graders (around 8/9yo). Entertainment is included, along with food and drinks. And most parents will appreciate tiring the kids out just before bed.

Only glitch for our EG Family is the 1/2 hour drive home. I will have to feed Zaltu a chocolate bar to keep her awake, because if she naps even 10mins on the way home… Well, there goes any productivity tonight!

Damn you, EG Dad. My Mother’s Day present tomorrow better be awesome!!

Have you ever been to a kids’ indoor play centre? Share your survival tips!! I’m going to need alllllllll of them!! 

One Rainy Day at a Time

I have received reports from minions in Queensland, Australia. Reports of extreme weather. I would love to claim credit for weather control, but alas – this one is natural causes.

At the same time, minions in the UK are having extreme cold. What’s the point of these? Both sets of minions have included pleas for help: from their own spawnlings!!

Now, COME ON!! So the electricity is cut! Whoopy-di-doo!! You’re not going to let a little electricity shortage allow your spawnlings to get the better of you?!? What type of “evil genius parent” in training are you?!?

Rainy/Snowed in days are the perfect opportunity to encourage a little lateral thinking and creative genius in your spawnlings (and yourself). All it takes is a little ingenuity to add an evil twist.

Masking Tape Car Track

I don’t even remember where I first saw this one, but I have found a link for a great reference: The Mother Huddle.

Now, if you really want to make it interesting. Do you have any monsters around? Dinosaurs? Introduce your spawnlings to the idea of Godzilla!!

Paddle-Pop Stick Puppets

Buffy fans, rejoice! Here’s a great way to introduce your kids Mutant Enemy Productions and the magic of Joss Whedon.

Take a couple of paddle-pop/ice-block sticks and glue on your own puppet design. Start with any cut-out pictures from colouring books. You can even use any drawings your spawnlings have done for a few days.

Table Tents

A little while back, I shared a link on my Facebook page for a new addition to the humble Dining Table.

Simply awesome. Perfect if you spawnlings like to sit on quiet days by themselves. Instructions at Joyful Abode.

In EG Lair, we are more inclined to throw a sheet over the table and create “man-caves” or “mini evil lairs”. Such places have encouraged the conception of evil plans likes ‘sneak attacks on EG Dad at his computer’, or ‘stealing the last 6 biscuits from EG Mum’s stash’. Obviously, with these results, Table Tents are used as a last resort. The minute the big sheets come out, the spawnlings know that mischief will now ensue.

Any other ideas for how to manage your spawnlings ‘evil genius’ potential on electricity-free days? Share the pain here in the comments, or on my Facebook page.

And just remember where they got the Evil Genius from. 😉