Everything is Awesomely Evil

Have you seen The LEGO Movie?

More importantly, have you figured out a way to get that damn song out of your head?

Evil LEGO. Evil evil LEGO.

Now let’s go shopping!

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But who would believe the evil intentions of the innocent LEGO brick? Well, for one – any poor sucker who has stepped on one in the middle of the night!

Secondly, anyone who has recognised the subtle warnings peppered throughout pop-culture. For example, Evil’s lair in Terry Gillam’s Time Bandits – made with LEGO bricks.

But you and I both know what makes LEGO evil…

The sweet, sweet irony of making an “anti-business” movie, and selling a mall-load of merch specifically from the movie.

Now, let’s just stop and appreciate this awesome evolution. Do you remember LEGO in your childhood? It was simply a few bricks and some ideas. Like Star Wars? Throw a few white bricks in a cross-shape and call it an x-wing. Just saw the original Muppet Movie? Go raid the green pieces for a Kermit portrait.

But there’s no money in imagination. Well, only from milking someone else’s. Sure, you can still buy boxes of bricks du generale, but the real money is in the sets. And if you’re not sure if which sets are out there, go watch the film again.

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Of course, if you’re really stuck for ideas, you can always go down the path of gender specific LEGO. Because everyone knows girls can’t build LEGO unless it comes in a pink box and lipstick on the mini figures.

There is now a generation of LEGO builders calling themselves “parents”. You know – the ones that go to the movie just for the kids of course. They are the ones responsible for this marketing campaign. Yep, you’re a dumb ass. You’re the one who thinks your kids can only build the Batcave with the special unique pieces available in #7783.

Do your spawnlings a favour. Buy them a LEGO Movie set – and then tell them they cannot build anything from the movie. Not a single thing. Not even a flying dump truck.

And LEGO – stop with colour stereo-typing. You’ve got red bricks. Stick to what you know.

Minion Musings:

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