Never give up.
Not even if your counterpart has taken off overseas for two weeks. That should merely toughen your resolve against the onslaught of spawnlings.
Not even if your physical presence weakens with fatigue and wear-and-tear. Oh no – use this as an opportunity to ‘encourage’ your delegation of tasks around the lair.
And especially, especially not when the spawnlings send in the secret weapon: the Phlegm-Bot.
They will attempt to soften you with the poor, sick, widdle baby – awwww!
SNAP OUT OF IT!!
The baby is just cuddling you to share the germs. Listen to that cackle – it sounds like a tommy-gun for a reason!!
And be aware: Phlegm-Bot will share the germs, creating more Phlegmbies out of the remaining family members. This in turn creates greater work duties, raising the whine factor to painful.
Stand your ground! Wash those hands! Play those DVDs!! And most of all drink your tea to establish a defence boundary.
Then hope for the best. Because there is no remedy for the smile under that snotty nose, beaming when you give the mum-hug that makes it all better.
Damn it! *sniff* Double damn it!!