Sometimes, it’s not enough to convince your kids you have evil intentions. Sometimes… you need to convince other kids too.
Take Cheryl G for example. This week’s recipient for the Evil Genius Parent Award. Now, let me paint the picture for those who do not know Cheryl – lovely, sweet, innocent looking lady. Never raises her voice in public. I would almost go as far as saying she is my arch-nemesis for niceness, but since she makes an awesome cup of tea, we maintain a great level of friendship and respect instead. Plus, she’s just taken up Doctor Who for the first time, so there’s hope for her.
Anyway, I digress. All this sweetness is hiding an Evil Genius, who knows how to use her ‘facade’ to convince others. Here’s the story:
Cheryl was taking home three energetic boys from school – one is her own; the other two are friends. With the amount of noise in the back seat, Cheryl asked a few times – in her very sweet motherly voice – for the boys to calm down. Failing this, Cheryl threatens to use … the Ejector Seat.
One of the friends pipes up: The Ejector Seat?
Oh yes. We have an ejector seat in the car. And when you misbehave, I just push the button and pop! Up you go through the sun-roof.
Really? (*Now this part I love – it is so typical of child-like curiousity). Which button is it?
Without pause, Cheryl points to the big Red Button on the dash.
Really? (again… pause) Geez, in our car that just puts on the flashing lights.
The resulting silence on the way home evidence she had convinced the boys there really is an ejector seat in the back seat.
The true impact of this kicks in a few days later when one of parents walks up to Cheryl at school, and says “I just had to tell you. D asked me the other day if we had ejector seats in our car. He asked with such a SERIOUS FACE, I’m still trying to figure out if he is disappointed we don’t have that model or if your threat worked. Either way, it’s great!!”
Congratulations Cheryl!! Methinks it is time for the Evil-Genius Mobile to upgrade.