Dear Swimming Mum,

You self-entitled git.

Usually, I care not about other parents at the pool. You brought your little spawnling to the pool. You are essentially teaching them to swim AND spending time with them** so I don’t usually complain about that front.

But when you interfere with others trying to achieve the same thing, then I become irate.

Our swim centre / pool is like many other pools around the country. We have a lap pool; we have a ‘leisure pool’ with a big section used for swimming lessons (3yo and up); and we have a hydrotherapy pool for baby and toddler lessons, as well as therapy for rehab patients in the area. A nice heated bonus really.

Now, swimming lessons are offered and we pay for them. They are available to everyone who pays for enrolment.

That means, Self-Entitled Mum if you are not enrolled then you are not allowed in the class.

You are welcome to go to the front desk and enrol. But until that point, get out of the class.

That’s right – the teacher has asked you to leave the clearly signed class area.

And then, the pool lifeguard has asked you to leave the class area.

And one of the parents has asked you to leave the class area because you are interfering with the kids who HAVE paid and enroled.

But you think you are entitled to be there. You even think you are entitled to take toys from the swimming lesson area. Once again, you are invited to enrol in the lesson. Until then, stop interfering with those who have enroled.

I am so sick of parents who think the rules don’t apply to their special and unique snowflakes. If you need a special consideration then apply for one. You are not automatically entitled to help yourself to whatever the hell you want because you don’t want to wait.  Especially when it’s a want, not a need.

It’s not just swimming pools:

• No – you’re child can’t jump the line because they want a pink balloon before they run out;
• No – you’re child cannot be excused from the homework because you don’t want to read the book with them at night;
• No – your child cannot have the clarinet instead of the flute in the school band; not only did your child complain about the reed in the try-outs but we do not have enough clarinets to go around. No, you are not entitled to jump the queue ahead of other students because he is a boy. WTH is wrong with a boy playing the flute?!?

So – Self-Entitled Mum. We all know you want something. You want the best for your spawnling. We all want the best for all spawnlings; well maybe not my spawnlings who will rule yours. But generally, we all want the same thing.

Here is your opportunity to teach them about working towards goals. If you want something, you most likely have to do something yourself first; in this case, enrol in the class first. Then wait for your pretty little turn.

Sincerely,

Evil Genius Mum

** PS> Bonus Note for the Mum Who Abandoned Their Child With Me

You’re not entitled to anything either. Just because Zaltu started a conversation with your 5yo does not mean you can walk away and assume I will take care of him for you. This is not communal living where the ‘village’ does your job for you. I am not Your Village.

And when he follows us 5m to the slide to continue the conversation, sure I will keep an eye on him so he doesn’t drown but I am not responsible for him. Which means you are not entitled to come back and yell at me for moving away from our original spot. You are not entitled to dump your responsibility on any adult-looking person in your vicinity. At least, introduce yourself and ask first!!
Minions: here are two examples of what is NOT Evil Genius Parenting.