One Legal System at a Time

I expect to cop some major abuse on this one. But here me out. 

The man previously found guilty of killing Daniel Morcombe (and other atrocities) is currently appealing his case due to evidence issues. Judgement could be handed down today.

The Case of Daniel Morcombe is unfortunately now one of infamy in Australia. There is unlikely to be a single person in SE Queensland who doesn’t know about it, and a good 50% or more of the rest of Australia. 

Quick summary: Daniel was abducted while waiting for a bus to go Christmas shopping for his family. He was 13 years old and it took another 8 years for his parents to find out what happened – QLD Police obtained a confession following a covert operation. I am not going in to details. It is suffice to say this is NOT the type of “evil” I want in my New World Order. It’s not genius – it’s down-right sick and broken and simply evil. Not “Evil Genius”. There is no place for it in my ideal world.

Now comes the tricky part: the Court process is being challenged due to technicalities. And at the risk of being the only voice to say this, because of the emotional volatility of the topic, I’m okay with the appeal.

Okay, for those who didn’t instantly unfollow me, spit their coffee, throw their iPads, etc – hear me out.

We have a legal system for a reason – as ideal as it would be to just go “yep, his guilty. Shoot him”, I know it is not that simple. And we have a system in most countries to avoid any abuse of that ideal world. It’s not perfect, but then again it is made by humans for humans.

Not too long ago, Queensland (the territory in this sorry tale) had a huge corruption problem. Now, while there is no convicting proof of direct police corruption, there was a lot of hearsay. And while a lot of good police were caught up in the hearsay, there are rules in place to protect the good cops and the innocent.

And to keep paralegals in work – the sorry bastards left to research the technicalities like this one.

And while I believe this guy is guilty, I cannot claim to know all the facts. Nor can you. If there is even the slightest shred that he was innocent; that he was coerced in some way to confess, or worse still mentally ill enough to think it was some game to play, then I would still prefer to go through the crappy appeal process. Because then we could refocus on the real evil bastards out there.

However, like I said – I think he is guilty. And I would prefer him to go to jail for a very very long time the right way. Without any chance of appeals like this.

This is not an attack on the Police. They worked hard on this case – but they are not infallible. And the amount of rules and regulations out there just for them… Well, it is understandable if one or two slip up in their focus on getting a bad guy off the street.

But these rules are there to ensure that the police don’t become the bad guys. Because then we are all screwed.

And don’t attack the lawyers. Evidence issues like this need to be addressed. If ever you try to drag my sorry butt to Court, I would want a lawyer like this. Someone who will find anything to help my case. Though, I think they crossed the line arguing bias with the Chief Justice

Have a bit of faith in the system. Most of the faults lie within human behaviour. And while most of us may not like the possible outcomes, step away from the media and trust in the essence of those working it everyday.

EDIT/update: The appeal was dismissed. 

One Lethal Yorkshire Terrier at a Time

Australia often has a bad rep for being a dangerous place – go read Terry Pratchett’s The Lost Continent. 

Spiders. Snakes. Crocodiles. Drop Bears. Cane Toads. Sheep.

There are websites, twitter feeds, and Facebook pages dedicated to living in Australia. 

In primary school, I lived on an army base in the middle of nowhere (but next to a sheep farm). Part of our physical activity each week was being reminded what to do if a Kangaroo approached. Run.

Bit hard if they hop on your school bus for a ride – I kid you not.

But I digress. Because even with all of these delightfully dangerous things to entice me to set-up EG Lair here, they fail to mention the most dangerous creature of all.

The Politician. 

Exercise even greater caution for The Politician with a Sound Bite.

Take today’s news: Johnny Depp Smuggles Dogs into Australia!!

Depp forgot to declare his lethal warrior-like Yorkshire Terriers before bringing them to Australia while he films another Piracy on my wallet.  

Look, don’t get me wrong – he did the wrong thing. You need to declare your pets and for good reason too.

But this guy, Senator Barnaby Joyce, has gone and made a big media spectacle about it. Mainly because Depp is a celebrity and the movie-reference sound bites make Joyce sound tough and hip and jiggy-with-it.  It is highly probable someone made a simple mistake, and there are steps to make to fix that, including sending them home. But all this media circus does is embarrass a bunch of people who are now, and potentially in the future, bring work into the country. 

But Australian politicians aren’t known for their diplomacy. 

Celebrities shouldn’t get special treatment for being “known” – but that shouldn’t make them cannon fodder for politicians looking for air time. There are greater issues that could benefit from Joyce’s theatrics: the budget response to domestic violence; drug smuggling; refugees; whether daylight savings really will fade Queensland curtains and confuse the cows. 

Don’t worry, Johnny. I’ll take care of your puppies for you.

Evil Genius Parent Tool #8 – Reading

Do you read bedtime stories with your kids?

You are an Evil Genius Parent, setting your spawnlings up with an unfair advantage and must be stopped!!

Apparently. *shrug* meh

Look, we’ve had many people harping about the benefits of reading

Obvious Man by Wiley

But recently some one let ALL the crazies out of the Hotel.

It started a couple of weeks ago when I read a Canadian article about a bus company banning books on school buses. I shit you not. I was all ready to write an article about the danger of books and so glad that the world was realising this finally!

Books as weapons

I mean, seriously? We can’t possibly put seat belts on buses, but BOOKS!! BOOKS!! READING IS THE WEAPON OF THE EVIL GENIUS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! (So you finally caught on).

And then I wake up to this news: A British Academic thinks that reading bedtime stories to your children gives them an unfair advantage over other children, and must be considered in your moral values as a parent.

Hell yeah, it’s an advantage!! That’s the whole fracking point of Evil Genius Parenting! To give your kids as many advantages as possible! If they are unfair like this, then BONUS POINTS!

But what about the parents who read for quality time with their kids? Or for the opportunity to share some cultural heritage with the next generation? Or… now sit down for this… what about the parents and kids who actually like to read?

SUCKERS!! Don’t you realise that parenting is all about the race to have the best cardboard cut-out at graduation?!?

Of course, Mr Swift back-peddled heavily after this comment – he doesn’t want to throw away reading with kids (though I would LOVE to see Mem Fox go all Possum Magic on his professor cap for that one).

Instead, he wants you to seriously consider the impact your reading is having on your child’s future and the impact on all kids who aren’t as lucky as yours. Because, y’know, your parenting should be dictated by every other child AND NOT the one in your actual care.


Seriously folks, go read a book to your kids. If we truly want our spawnlings to take over the world (and probably save it too) then we need to lift up the quality of their lives – not drag them down to mundane commonality. Inspire them to want more. Ride the dragons through their imaginations and instead chain the boring Knights of Conservatism to their Cliffs of Same. It is not merely intellect that carries the next generation forward – it is their imagination and their compassion.

And they are going to find more of that in bedtime stories than anywhere else.