EG Mum v “The Baking Mum”

Well. Good to know where I stand, Zaltu.

The minute Sinister and Nefarious are dropped at school, Zaltu knows it is her time.

Parks are visited, pigeons are tormented, EG Senior Citizens are wooed.

When we arrived at the playground, Zaltu made friends with another toddler. A toddler who had … Biscuits. Yeah!!

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And not just any biscuits. Jam drops.

Google it.

I was so proud of my Little Miss Opportunity.

Until it was time to go.

“Okay, kiddo. Time to go home!”

So, Zaltu waved goodbye to me. Okay.

Then walks over to the other kid’s mum. The Baking Mum.

Zaltu walked over to The Baking Mum and took her hand. She took The Baking Mum by the hand and started walking out the park, towards home.

Clearly, she had made her choice.

Obviously, I need to get back to the kitchen.

Hey, Baking Mum! I see your Jam Drops and raise you Chocolate Chewbaccas.

Stay tuned.

EG Parent Award #52

I’m sitting here watching Zaltu eat her lunch with Aquaman’s Trident.
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Yes, I did give her a fork. But why on Earth would she want a mere fork, when she can use Aquaman’s Trident?

Which of course led to me googling Batman Cutlery. Because why would you settle for Aquaman’s Trident when you could have Batman cutlery?

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But would you believe it, I only found one that actually fit the bill. And it is very witty.

So I give you: EG Parent Award # 52:

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Thankyou to mrparis over on Flickr.

However, Sinister says this set doesn’t quite cut it (ho ho!) and wants to buy Zaltu this set instead:

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In the meantime, I think she liked the Trident. And I dare you to take it off her.

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Reason #32 Why I am Glad We Have Timber Floors

World Domination is on hold (again) while I clean up the mess.

It was supposed to be a simple task. Paint the storage box to fit in with other geeky paraphernalia.

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I set out to do this:

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And ended up doing this:

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Seriously.

All I did was grab the bottle of black paint out of the art supply cupboard (commonly known as the “anything that fits in there” cupboard).

As I stepped back, I stumbled – and instinctively through my arms up in the air… And learnt that the lid was not tightly fastened on the bottle.

To be honest, it could have been a crap load worse.

But I was so extremely grateful for the timber floors we had installed in the Lair earlier this year.

This was cleaned up within 1/2 a packet of Spawnling wipes. I can only imagine the torture of trying to get black paint out of carpet.

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Soooooo… Do you have any art projects planned for the weekend?

Competition: Matthew Reilly’s Hover Car Racer

Being Evil Genius Mum, I am all about inspiring spawnlings to create, invent and dream!!

Now, I know there were a lot of dreams bursting with this news of Tony Hawk’s Hoverboard prank but it made me realise – there is still the dream.

What better way to inspire dreams than the creative process?
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So I have in my hot little hands a signed copy of Matthew Reilly’s Hovercar Racer.
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This book is for spawnlings, and it is a massive turbulent adventure all the way. This is the book that captured my youngest EG brother at 12 – and he is still a huge Reilly fan to this day.

It’s about kids who race hovercars – Formula 1 style. And kid mechanics. Kid engineers. And of course – kids scheming.

So that means the comp is aimed at kids. Anyone up to the age of 18. Anywhere in the world (delivery included). And it’s by my rules. Because I’m EG Mum and I have taken over at least this slice of the world.

To win this signed copy, draw me a picture of your dream Hovercar racer. Tell me about it. And email me: evilgeniusmum@hotmail.com

I will choose the most inventive and exciting, with the help of Sinister and Nefarious.

All pics will be shared on Facebook and Twitter, as well as in a blog post here.

And competition ends November 30 with the winner announced December 1. So you should have time to receive it before Christmas.

So get drawing!!

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EG Parent Award #51

Hmm. Been awhile. Again.

Well, when you have the choice between blog and sleep – ZZZZZZZZZZ

Since EG Lair became a crucible for mixing together every fraking childhood illness in the immediate area, sleep has become that rare commodity I would ransom the moon for.

At first, I was stunned about how many different illnesses the spawnlings brought home: gastro, chicken pox, hand foot mouth, school sores, chest infection, sinus infection. It just keeps going. And every other parent was telling me that this normal with school age spawnlings.

Well none of them are damn geniuses.

The problem is not the little Petri dish of school, however. Though, that germ factory is not completely innocent.

The problem is with other adults who have no concept of the personal space of children

I almost wish I had ugly kids.

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See, on the walk to school pick-up, Zaltu was approached TWICE in her pram by complete strangers.

Apparently, it’s a social norm for strange women to just walk up to a pram and punch or rub babies’ faces, without asking.

But it’s not a social norm for mothers of said babies to rip off said strangers’ arms and beat them around their heads with the bloody stump?!?

I did point out to both “You don’t want to do that. She has Chicken Pox.”

One of them even replied “Why didn’t you tell me?!?”

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The thing is, adults spend all day telling kids to cover their mouths when they cough; blow your nose; wash your hands. But I see adults doing the same things all the time – and then touching other people like there is nothing wrong. I totally believe that half of the illness Zaltu’s had this year is from the grown- up minions who won’t leave her the frak alone!!

But one dear minion (Traci) has an idea.

“Whenever you’re out, give the kid something to eat. My fave is a Cheddar Scroll. Not too bad for the kid, but just messy enough to keep the crazies at bay.”

So we tried it – and it worked!! Genius!!

Traci – you rock. And to the next stranger who approaches my Spawnling without permission or invite – a pox on BOTH your houses!