I Want a … Skully helmet

I consider myself the last remaining sane person in the family of crazies. And knowing my family – that’s a scary scary thought.

I do not have and do not want a motorbike licence.

EG Dad has one (Virago).
EG Grandad has one (a Harley, of course).
EG Grandma has one (Virago).
Both my brothers have licences.
My grandfather – yes.
My aunt and two uncles – you bet.

Even my best friend, EG Aunty Em, is going for her licence – not a great idea if you’ve ever been a passenger in her car.

Me – no thanks. I like my cars thankyou.

But then I saw this Light Mode Motorcycle Helmet:

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It so purdy… I could be like TRON. Vrmmm! Vvvrrrrrmmmm!!!

But I don’t have a motorbike and it would kind of be pointless.

And then … Loyal Minion Jake shared this beauty:

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It’s a Skully Helmet – connects to your phone and GPS; has rear camera; and brings everything up on the screen in front. With other benefits, it’s pretty much a Smart Helmet and very sexy.

And I don’t even need a motorbike to reap the benefits.

I could finally check my FB updates without a Spawnling reading over my shoulder.

I would literally have eyes in the back of my head.

I would be protected from Zaltu’s lunch, Sinister’s science experiments, and Nefarious’ sporting attempts.

But most of all …

I could be THE ROCKETEER!!

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I think I have an obsession.

Not a problem. 😀

EG Parent Award #50

To be an EG Parent, you have to stay one step ahead of the spawnlings.

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Sometimes it helps to build upon your experiences with Evil Genius siblings.

Now, I have already shared with you my own sibling shitheadedness here however this week’s champ has definitely upped the ante. She brings a whole new level of crazy evil genius to the party – and this wisdom should be treated with the respect it deserves. Cherish it, for it will give insight to the machinations of your spawnlings.

Introducing: How to be a Domestic Disgrace.

My favourite is #4:

4. Walkie Talkies – My parents bought Rob and I a walkie talkie set for Christmas one year in the hopes that it might foster a loving sibling bond. I mainly used mine to inform him that he was a wanker from various hiding places.

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Now go and say hi. Carefully. From a distance.

No eye contact. That’s a live one, we have there.

EGP Award #49

Has it really been that long?

Have my plans for world domination really distracted me from the blog?

Appears to be the case.Muppet Elvis

Dang.

Well, anyways. I’ve been a little focussed on discipline. The school holidays were particularly insightful – if you call realising how evil my spawnlings can be “insightful”. Fortunately, no-one died; no-one was admitted to hospital; and no-one turned up on EG Grandma’s doorstep.

Nevertheless, I dare to admit I need smarter discipline techniques. Some that really bring the Fear of EG Mum in to play.

Back in the time before computer games (*gasp*), EG Grandma used to send me to my room… until she realised that I liked this punishment because all of my books were there.

So then EG Grandma would move my ‘little’ bookcase out of my room before sending me there. Unfortunately, this was not an easy task and she soon tired of this punishment. But dang, it was funny to watch.

Other disciplinary measures included:

  • wiping up in the kitchen (not a great idea for an klutz like me);
  • baby-sitting (not really punishment since I used my brothers as entertainment in RPG);
  • and eventually the “driving the younger siblings to school” – which is actually a VERY EVIL PUNISHMENT, but since I gained a free-car for a period of time afterwards, I saw it as an excellent opportunity to work on my anger management and laser-beam the soccer-mums out of the carpark.

This week, I found a better punishment for my own spawnlings. And it is the winner of this week’s EGP Award:

EGP Award 49

 

 

Genius. Evil. Parenting.

I can’t wait to watch this in action. I almost want the spawnlings to do something bad.