Round 1: EG Mum v Zaltu

She’s 6wks old and has already thrown down her gauntlet. Zaltu is definitely living up to her name and causing mischief.

EG Dad has only ever once come home from work and asked what I did during the day.

He lived to tell the tale, and warn others against such follies.

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But particularly the last few weeks, he has shown great restraint – resisting the urges of his Clean Freak Tendencies.

Why? Mainly because the conversation would go like this:

“So… What did you do today?”

I caught shit.

Yes – baby poo.

With my bare hands.

And just when I finished cleaning that mess, I caught puke.

Yes – vomit.

With my bare hands.

Which is an achievement, since Zaltu projectile vomited across me to my chocolate last week. On purpose.

All. Before. Lunch.

Every time That Spawnling looks at me, I instantly think of this ad from Aldi.

Needless to say, I don’t think ANY nappy would have saved this. Zaltu has won this battle – that suit is not salvageable.

Now, pre-spawnlings I was a paralegal. Right up to advocate in Court. I know how to figuratively “catch the shit” flying around the office. I’ve physically chased down witnesses, argued with Registrars, and talked down suicidal defendants.

So, if EG Dad comes home and asks what I did today…

Zaltu: you gave a good battle, but I’m not done yet. Round two…

School holiday movies: Disney’s Planes

My sanity does not come cheap. These school holidays, it worked out to be about $48.

Each school holidays the spawnlings are allowed one movie day. Their choice of movie; their choice of junk food; their choice of who is dragged along with them. This time the choice was Disney’s Planes; Kinder Surprise; and the whole team.

This is not a sponsored review. In fact, this is not even a review. Instead, there are a couple of lessons to learn from the movie to help you take over the world.

1. Always have a good mechanic on standby. It’s always good to have someone around in a mess.

2. Never be afraid to give anything a go.

3. Never trust the underdog. Never underestimate the underdog. In fact, BE the underdog. It appears to improve your chances.

4. If you’re going to cheat and accept bribes, at least hide it well.

5. Same with lies – At least have your
cover story straight.

6. Everything sounds better with Mexican accent. And apparently an Australian one.

Look, the movie was good. Being from the makers of Cars, I am not surprised. However, this time I think it will be Sinister who goes for the merchandise. Nefarious loves the cars, but Sinister has more expensive tastes (like planes and helicopters).

Australian readers: as an added bonus, order your tickets online with Hoyts and you score a free Planes toy. But note: it’s one toy per online order, not per ticket. The online admin fee is $1 so it still works out as a good deal, and increases your cred with the spawnlings – important for surviving the end of school holidays.

More details found here

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