Evil Genius Parent Award #39

Our spawnlings, Sinister (7) and Nefarious (4) are still a little young for Alien.

Pity.

Because we’re in the final month of #3’s tenancy and I’m feeling more and more like this:

Now, being an Evil Genius is hard work. Some may consider it easier when you look like you have already swallowed a small planet and thus appear capable of swallowing more.

However, it is harder to take over the world when it takes 7 minutes just to roll out of bed, let alone the additional time to chase the existing spawnlings to retrieve my glasses.

Then there are the hormonal swings, the weird cravings, and the constant nagging from minions about whether they should buy blue or pink sheets.

star sheetsStormaggedon is NOT sleeping in blue or pink sheets – he or she will be sleeping in black sheets, with star charts showing all the planets they will be expected to conquer by the time they are 12.

With all this going on, it’s no wonder that EG Dad (and the spawnlings) could do with some tips on how to manage their leader.

Natania Barron over at Wired had previously come up with a few ideas (5 to be exact) on what you can do for the pregnant geek. Not quite world conquering stuff, but it will help any EG Mum-to-be feel like they are getting back on track. Good work, Natania!

My favourite is #1 with the suggestion of the book Do Chocolate Lovers have Sweeter Babies? OF COURSE THEY DO! Personally I think it is the Dark Chocolate (with a touch of mint) that adds the EG to the spawnling, but at least this book provides the geeky reasons for doing so. I’ve already uploaded it to the iPad for reading.

The best tip I have for dealing with your EG Mum-to-be? Give her whatever she wants.

Have any other tips for managing the expectant EG Mum?

Last month of the pregnancy and I may or may not write less here. There are a lot of preps I have to do to ensure the spawnlings continuing their training in world domination while I manage the upcoming birth. DVDs to set up, food to freeze, science experiments to prepare. You can all relax – EG Inc might have to settle for just a country or two in the meantime, rather than the whole world.

Evil Genius Parent Award #38

I’ve been holding on to this one for a few days – shared diligently by aspiring EG Parent Dallas F.

See, the thing about parenting is everyone has an opinion. From the moment you mention you have spawned, everyone believes they have the best advice to give you. Of course, they know best so you HAVE to listen to them. Even the interwebs gets in on the action – look at what you are reading right now. Sucker.

The beauty of being an Evil Genius Parent is the only thing you care about is staying one step ahead of the spawnling. Anything more is eating in to your world domination time. For example, you don’t need to know everything about Astronomy and Space exploration – just know enough to answer each question as it comes (Star Trek is REALLY useful for this!!) – this will mean having a moderate idea of where your spawnling sits on the spectrum.

The Daddy Complex

And now this parenting style has been given a name, thanks to The Daddy Complex: CTFD.

David has summed up a brilliant approach to remind us all to chill out. Some things about parenting can and should be fun. Being an Evil Genius doesn’t mean your spawnling needs to know everything before any other minion on the block. Nor do you need to sign them up to every extra-curricular activity known to mankind.

Since starting this blog, I’ve come across some parents who think I am pushing my kids to be something their not. Au contraire, my un-imaginative minions – Most of my parenting is pretty low key, child-led, and fits into my own brilliant geek-interests. I’m pretty lazy – in case you hadn’t noticed. And that’s why I like the CTFD principle.

So do you think I might experience any issues if I start yelling this to parents at the park?

I want… The Orb

This puts a whole new spin on the “One Ring to Rule Them All”

ORB 01

ORB 02

Big kudos to IFLS for the initial share of this beautiful piece of work. You may have seen it already but do you know the details?

The prototype of this ring was originally released in 2010. It is a Bluetooth ring with a scrolling display, built in microphone, and simply twists between ring and earpiece. Apparently it is also noise-cancelling and water-proof.

It pisses all over EG Dad’s Pebble watch.

Pebble

And it is not yet available. But I want one!

It seems like the company Hybratech has gone awfully quiet over the last 3 years, with no further word on development or release dates. In fact, I can’t even connect to their website anymore! Pity – It is a beautiful piece of technology and would be a very sexy item for the EG Mum Collection.

However, I tend to agree with some critics who believe the company have hit a funding snag. Maybe they need to check out Kickstarter as well.

Could you imagine how awesome this ring would be?!?

Imagine the ease with which I could ignore answer phone calls! How quickly I can check messages from minions around the world. How sexy it looks as a ring on my hand, and then I simply twist to make my ransom calls to World Leaders everywhere!

Oh the beauty!

But alas – not available as yet. And EG Dad has imposed a rule of one project at a time (which I’ve already broken  4 times this week). So we’ll just have to wait.

And tolerate EG Dad bragging about his Pebble. Again.

Forensic Friday #6 – All I have is static

There is nothing funnier than sneaking up on your sibling, all charged with static electricity – and letting rip with a ZAP!

Well, maybe one thing – watching on as an EG Parent while the spawnlings learn this!

Here’s the basics of Sinister’s Balloon Static Electricity Experiment:

Materials:

  • Balloons
  • Wall
  • Sibling (this may take time to prepare – talk to other EG Parents if you need advice on this one – can be replaced with some other unwilling participant)
Image (1)

How to build up some static electricity

  1. Blow up the balloon
  2. Rub against the wall
  3. Step away from the wall – like magic, the static electricity will hold the balloon to the wall.
Image

Like magic! Scientific magic!

Now, the question of “Why?” will come up – so here is the answer, to help you still look EG in front of the spawnlings:

Everything around us is made of tiny little parts called atoms. Atoms are made up of even smaller parts, which are called protons, electrons, and neutrons.

The protons, electrons, and neutrons are very different. Protons have a positive charge. Electrons have a negative charge. Neutrons are pretty easy going either way with no charge. Usually, atoms have the same amount of electrons and protons. When the atom has no charge, it is ‘neutral’. This also means that negatively charged things will be attracted to positive-charged things, and vice versa.

However, if you rub things together, electrons can move from one atom to another. Then some atoms get extra electrons and the other atoms might have a negative charge or no charge at all. The extra electrons will then be attracted to either neutral or positive-charged things. Like the walls or other people. When charges are separated like this, it is called static electricity.

Now, sometimes you can rub your feet on the carpet and build up some static electricity in yourself. Being dry helps out too. If you build up enough, you can then pass this static to another person – like a sibling, just as an example. You don’t HAVE to, of course. I am totally leaving this one for your own free will.

 

…Dr Seuss style

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.

– Dr Seuss

In EG Lair, Dr Seuss is held up as one of the greatest philosophers of modern time. 

Books stretch across many shelves, filled with the logical and brilliant views of a man who is too often passed over as a childrens author. And yet his teachings are perfect for any budding evil genius.

Did you know that Dr Seuss (aka Theodor Seuss Geisel) was also an artist beyond his book illustrations?

Dr Seuss 01

Self Portrait as a Young Man Shaving

Did you know that during World War II, he was in the animation department of the US Army, where he wrote ‘Design for Death’ – a film that later won an Academy Award for Documentary Feature (1947)? He was also a prolific political cartoonist for PM, a New York newspaper.

Dr Seuss 04

Can’t remember exactly how this one goes.
Something along the lines of “Searching for the perfect formula of raising taxes without losing votes.”

Did you know that you can check out this amazing array of work in art galleries around the world?

Dr Seus 02

Fave quote from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”
Pop-up Gallery of Dr Seuss

Seriously, you want to know how to educate your spawnlings to be Evil Genius and take over the world?

Read them a book or two of Dr Seuss. One of our favourites is “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”. That should start them off nicely.

Then take them to a gallery and show them the plethora of artwork that Geisel produced to try and express his view of the world.

There are plenty of galleries. The original is in Chicago, but at present they have a National Touring Gallery travelling around the US – currently you can find them at Legends Fine Art, LA JOLLA, CA. You can find more details here.

Recently, the first ever travelling exhibition of work outside the US visited Sydney, Australia. Hopefully, it’s success will encourage the range to be shown to even more spawnlings around the world.

Why am I so enthralled with Dr Seuss? His writing and artwork has a style of pointing out that decomposing pink elephant in the middle of the room. The message is so simple, you wonder how we lost such a basic understanding of human behaviour to begin with. But that’s the whole point. Show children how simple the world should be, and how much adults keep stuffing it up by over-complicating things.

Once you understand this, you start to see the utter genius behind his vision – the brilliantly evil way that he sows the seeds in young malleable minds.

The artwork is a whole new medium for this message. And it really is a style of art instantly recognisable as HIS.

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Go to the Gallery. If you can’t make a gallery, search the galleries online. I have shared some of our favourites on the EG Mum Facebook page, but there are so many more to learn from.

And read a book to your spawnlings. Listen to the words you are sharing with them. And share in the wisdom of Dr Seuss.

What’s your favourite Dr Seuss book? 

Evil Genius Parent Award #37

You have to admire a parent who feels comfortable enough in their parenting to allow their minions write the blog entry this week. I just don’t think the world is ready yet for Sinister and Nefarious to publish just yet. Half the time, I don’t think I’m ready for their thoughts. And I’m supposed to be a step ahead of them… in theory…

Part of being an evil genius parent is ensuring you are passing on the essential life skills your minion will need to conquer the world (or at least their immediate space).

This can be any number of skills. Building a fort; identifying poisonous frogs; learning how to swim faster than your friends (essential during shark season -you know the adage: you don’t have to swim faster than a shark…)

However, there is a special skill in recognising the life lessons within pop-culture references – not just to sound cool at parties (thought, that will be a given), but to also build their resilience through any life lesson.

Take Wonder Woman, for example. Now, to be honest – I am a Marvel girl. I have a healthy respect and understanding of the Wonder Woman canon. But nowhere near the depth offered by this minion over at GeekMom. A minion who has been offered the opportunity by her mum to publish her views as to why WW needs her own movie. And this was just one of the reviews/opinions shared by the minions!!

These minions know their stuff. They discuss Doctor Who and Animal Crossing as well. Not just in your usual “product review” method either (which has been seriously boring me to tears the last month or so – I understand wanting to make a dollar from blogging, but some of you minions have misplaced your integrity along the way…)

No, these minions actually incorporate a little human behaviour analysis as well. And that is an essential life skill for any EG spawnling.

So kudos to Geek Mom. In fact, have a nosy around the whole website – they have some pretty cool updates in general over there, and often share insights on how to keep your spawnlings just geeky enough to be interesting.

Do it now: Geek Mom